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Research: talking through divorce helps

Everyone has had their heart broken. We all share that experience, but we have different ways of dealing with the pain. Some of us retreat into quietness and want time to be alone and reflect on what went wrong and why. Others deal with the end of a relationship by talking to friends and family about why the romance ended and the reasons for its demise.

A recent study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science indicates that those who talk through a divorce tend to get through the emotional healing process faster than stoics do. This is not to say there’s a right way or a wrong way to get through these intensely personal treks, but simply that researchers have noticed a trend (it is, of course, impossible to predict how one individual will react or heal).

The study was conducted of 210 volunteers who had recently experienced the ending of a relationship. Half of the respondents were asked to regularly discuss the events and emotions over a period of nine weeks. The other half completed simple surveys at the start and conclusion of the study.

Those who spent the time talking over their experiences tended to fare better, according to the study. The discussions helped them “develop a stronger sense of who they were as single people.”   

A psychologist who co-authored the study said that, “So much of who our friends are and how we spend our time revolves around who we’re dating or who we’re married to. When the relationship ends, all of those variables get disrupted.”

While friends and family can help a person through the emotional half of the divorce, an experienced family law attorney can help you get through the legal processes. Experience often brings with it a certain calm and perspective: an experienced attorney has helped others sort through the many decisions a person needs to make in divorce; important decisions in difficult areas such as child custody and property division. Just as with the emotions of divorce, it’s much better to talk through these decisions with someone who knows the law than to attempt the process alone.

Source: National Public Radio, “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, But Science Can Help,” Jan. 13, 2015 

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