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A divorce primer

Even if you never find yourself going through a divorce, chances are that someone close to you has been or will be. You might not know what to say to a friend who is experiencing this tumultuous time, so learning a bit more about it can be helpful when you need to comfort a friend.

For some, divorce is a back door that can never be unlocked. You simply must work out your marriage — you don’t leave. However, that isn’t always the case. One woman found that despite what her church believed, it was best for her to go through that back door.

She found out a lot about her life, herself and those around her. She realized that it’s a lot like a death occurring because the future you were once so certain of is gone. Some people going through a divorce will be so wracked with pain that they can’t get out of bed. Others will embrace their new “oneness” and begin to move forward almost immediately.

For many people, divorce is the hardest thing they have ever gone through. It is heartbreaking again and again. From your kids creating new memories with your ex’s new “friend” to packing up the family home, the pain can come suddenly and without any warning.

Divorce is lonely. The quietness can be hard to deal with and you may start to question other things in your life.

However, divorce is not the end. You will make it through this difficult time and come out stronger on the other side. You realize that you are stronger than you ever would have given yourself credit for. You don’t need anyone and that realization in itself is empowering.

You realize that you are okay without knowing all the answers. You realize that you’re okay with the silence and you have a new respect for those who have gone through a divorce in the past.

If you feel as though you need some help coping with your divorce, you might consider therapy or counseling. Your divorce attorney likely has some professional references he or she can recommend.

Source: Huffington Post, “Divorce : A Primer For All (Yes, That Includes You),” Breeanne Walters, May 09, 2016

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