What acts of kindness can do for divorcees
The emotional toil that comes from divorce is well-documented. Despite the number of blog posts and articles written about what ill-will and nastiness during divorce does to parties and their children, the hatred and bitterness still continues…unfortunately.
It appears that couples embroiled in divorces get caught up in bitter tit-for-tat arguments that seemingly never end (because one party always has to have the last word). However, it is good to think about what could happen if couples reversed their thinking, and instead focused on basic measures of kindness.
A recent HuffingtonPost.com article highlighted this notion. It gave some very touching examples of kindness. Some of them were very subtle, like giving back a wedding ring to an ex who is in dire financial straits. Others were blunt, like buying a bottle of champagne for an ex who just bought a home. While they were all relatively touching, they signified two things: the ability to move on emotionally, and the ability to forgive.
Both of these things are necessary in order for divorcing parties to live their lives after a divorce, and to be effective co-parents. Essentially, you both loved each other enough to get married at some point, so the ability to have a decent relationship should still be there. The old adage “time heals all wounds” should apply here. Over time, bitterness fades away and a standard of respect should develop. After all, it is this state of mind that family court judges expect of parents.
The next time you feel like retaliating against a parent for a violation of your custody order, consider this.
Source: HuffingtonPost.com “Acts of kindness in divorce, rare but powerful,” Jackie Pilossph, May 12, 2014