Part II: Signs therapists use to predict divorce
As promised in our previous post, we have returned to take another look at personality traits and relationship styles that can prove toxic to couples who are pondering marriage or who have already taken the plunge. The poisons can become visible to trained eyes. Marriage counselors and pre-marriage therapists can often spot the signs that a relationship is headed toward divorce even before wedding music has played and rings are exchanged.
Let’s look in this post at a few more relationship styles that pop up red flags for counselors and therapists who work with couples.
One therapist interviewed by the Huffington Post noted that conflict is inevitable and that what separates successful marriages from the rest is how couples handle the heat. Will your partner be willing to get professional help when the relationship falters? Will your spouse be willing to dig into difficult topics that become part of many marriages: things such as financial troubles, health problems, aging parents, infidelity, and so on. Couples who are struggling before marriage to tackle tough subjects often come apart at the seams later.
A marriage and family therapist says that after four decades in the business, he can understand a lot about a couple by observing the way they argue. He says it can be damaging when one spouse refuses to take responsibility for their part in an argument or refuses to express remorse for causing pain. It can also be hurtful when a couple does not ever fight, but instead hides their disagreements. That strategy often fails when one person can no longer stand the pretense and runs from the fight-free marriage.
No matter what the reason for the unraveling of a marriage, it makes sense to try to end it in a way that you can live with for years to come. If you and your spouse are parents, it’s especially important to end the marriage the right way. After all, you are undoubtedly going to continue to be connected by your children to your spouse.
Speaking with an experienced family law attorney can help you to understand ways to divorce that can in many ways be positive rather than wholly negative. With the proper legal counsel, lasting resolutions to difficult problems can be carefully negotiated and agreed upon by all parties.