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How divorcing parents can answer kids’ questions

Explaining why parents are splitting up, and how the living arrangements will work are often difficult topics to discuss with children. They are often the last to know because parents sometimes don’t know the answers to the tough questions, and they don’t want to break the hearts of those who depend on them. Also they may be afraid of how the children will react; will they withdraw further or come to resent their parents for not working things out.

Also, some may feel as if they are the worst parents in the world for being asked these questions. If you feel this way, you are certainly not alone. This post will identify some of the most common questions kids may ask about your divorce, and provide some helpful tips in answering them.

“Can’t you and daddy just be roommates?” –It is natural for kids to want mom and dad to live in the same house, because that gives them a sense of family, which is important for them. There is no easy answer to this question, especially if your relationship with your soon-to-be ex has reached a point where you both need time and space apart to sort through your feelings.

“Will this home always be here for us?” – Kids identify home as a safe haven for them. So having a place to call home is critical. However, this can be spun in a positive manner by reminding them that anywhere you are is home to them.

“Does this mean that we don’t have a daddy (or mommy) anymore?” – Kids may believe that since one parent is moving away, that they are no longer part of the family. It is important to remind children that simply because a parent is not living in the home, does not mean that they are no longer a parent.

Source: “13 utterly heartbreaking questions children ask about divorce,” June 17, 2014

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